I’m a people watcher. I love going into restaurants and watching couples interact. It’s often a telltale sign of the type of relationship they have. For instance couples that hardly speak a word to each other during the entire time that they are eating, I often wonder how long they’ve been married. Or when I see a couple that when seated at a booth, choose to sit next to each other rather than across from each other, I wonder if they just started dating. One of Dr. B’s favorite sayings is, “that’s an outward sign of an inward condition.” Which I truly believe holds true for married couples. Have you ever been at a party or social gathering and know that a couple came together, but they limited interaction doing the entire event? Do you pick up on those types of signs? I often wonder if as time goes by, do most couples lose the fire, or do the sparks begin to fade? Maybe they just aren’t in love with each other anymore…
A study that was published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 1970 titled: Measurement of Romantic Love determined that the way to tell if a couple is in love is to watch their eye contact. It was stated that:
Normally two people in conversation give each other eye contact anywhere from 30-60% of the time, but couples who are in love look at each other 75% of the time during conversation and are slower to break their look away from each other when interrupted.
Speaking from past experience, it makes perfect sense. If you don’t like someone, much less love them, you surely don’t want to be around that person and you’re not going to staring into their eyes. Things like eye contact, holding hands, packs on the cheek, pats on the butt… those little things hold a lot of meaning in a relationship. Each couple has their own little’ intimates’, which is what I call those physical interactions that keep you feeling connected to your loved one. Your own Morse code of sorts.
What signs or ‘intimates’ have you witnessed in a short-lived or lasting relationship? Do you and your loved one have a Morse code?