Tag Archives: newlywed

Eye Contact is the Morse Code of Love

15 Nov
Author: Bagande

Image via Wikipedia

I’m a people watcher.  I love going into restaurants and watching couples interact. It’s often a telltale sign of the type of relationship they have.  For instance couples that hardly speak a word to each other during the entire time that they are eating, I often wonder how long they’ve been married.  Or when I see a couple that when seated at a booth, choose to sit next to each other rather than across from each other, I wonder if they just started dating.  One of Dr. B’s favorite sayings is, “that’s an outward sign of an inward condition.”  Which I truly believe holds true for married couples.  Have you ever been at a party or social gathering and know that a couple came together, but they limited interaction doing the entire event?  Do you pick up on those types of signs?  I often wonder if as time goes by, do most couples lose the fire, or do the sparks begin to fade?  Maybe they just aren’t in love with each other anymore…

A study that was published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 1970 titled: Measurement of Romantic Love determined that the way to tell if a couple is in love is to watch their eye contact.  It was stated that:

Normally two people in conversation give each other eye contact anywhere from 30-60% of the time, but couples who are in love look at each other 75% of the time during conversation and are slower to break their look away from each other when interrupted.

Speaking from past experience, it makes perfect sense. If you don’t like someone, much less love them, you surely don’t want to be around that person and you’re not going to staring into their eyes.  Things like eye contact, holding hands, packs on the cheek, pats on the butt… those little things hold a lot of meaning in a relationship.  Each couple has their own little’ intimates’, which is what I call those physical interactions that keep you feeling connected to your loved one.  Your own Morse code of sorts.

What signs or ‘intimates’ have you witnessed in a short-lived or lasting relationship?  Do you and your loved one have a Morse code?

Natasha

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Personal Style Redefined

21 Oct

I was browsing in Anthropologie yesterday when I came across the book, I Love Your Personal Style: How to Define and Refine Your Personal Style by Amanda Brooks.  I purchase the book, since it hit on a topic that I’ve occasionally thought about the this year, my personal style evolution.  Every since I can remember my style has revolved around showing off my legs.  I have always believed they were and are my best asset, at 5’9′ I’m taller than your average woman.  I remember thinking long and hard about what to wear when I was going out with my sisters (I have 3 beautiful sisters) and trying to differentiate myself from them.  In my mind, my legs were the key.

Now that I’m older I continue to wear clothing that highlights my legs, which is easy when you live in Florida like I do. Back in the day 🙂 when I worked, my style of dress for the office was classic with a modern twist, now I like to mix several styles.  Here are a few highlights from the author Amanda Brooks on personal style and how to find it:

  • Personal style is a look that is all your own.
  • Embrace yourself and your history.
  • Self-confidence is good for both your soul and your style.
  • Celebrate your creativity, express your different moods, and show off all the faces of your personality.

I believe your personal style will shine through even if you change your look from day-to-day.  Now that I’m not in a structured work environment, I am having fun experiment with different looks, and shopping in a wider range of stores from vintage clothing boutiques to Bloomingdale’s.  I don’t feel any pressure to conform to any rules or trends.  Also, I don’t feel the need to dress like a “wife” ow that I’m married. In the book, there is a section on things to consider when you are working on defining and refining your personal style, one being age.  Amanda writes:

“The word ‘appropriate” gives me the chills and has nothing to do with age when it comes to style.  Women look best when they wear what they look good and what works for their budget and lifestyle.  Everybody’s style evolves over time, but if you know what works for you and what you like you will never have to worry about dressing “appropriately” for your age.”  Not that is some great advice!  Gotta go, I’m headed off to the Bahamas for the weekend…. What should I wear on the plane? :=)

Have a great weekend!

Natasha

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The Power of Gratitude in Relationships

18 Oct

A four-year research study found that gratitude contributes to a mutual process of relationship maintenance, in which each partner’s maintenance behaviors, perceptions of responsiveness, and feelings of gratitude feed back on and influence the other partner’s behaviors, perceptions, and feelings.  In other words when a spouse felt gratitude towards the other, and they expressed that gratitude in some external way, this outward expression produced and influenced the other spouse’s feelings and behaviors of gratitude.  This process between the two spouses was like a continuous feedback loop because gratitude motivates partners to engage in relationship maintenance.

Feeling gratitude without expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

After reading this article, I started thinking about my relationship with my husband.  I examined my acts of gratitude and relationship maintenance.  I believe I am consistent and sincere when I express how much I appreciate him and everything he does for me.  I am conscious of my behavior simply because my husband constantly shows me gratitude and I want to do the same to him.  Actually he is good at showing everyone (who deserves it) gratitude.  Anyone that knows him will attest to that. Based on this research, I’m sure that I conscientiously show him gratitude in many ways, because it is a natural response to his gratuitous behavior towards me.

So, the next time someone does something nice for you, don’t forget express your gratitude…it’s as easy as saying Thank You!

Have a Great Weekend!

14 Oct

These beautiful ladies were waiting for us in my mother-in-law’s yard when we pulled up today. I loved that they weren’t a tad bit frightened when we walked up. I believe their presence was the sign of a great weekend to come!

Have Fun, Stay Safe!

Natasha

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The Road Not Taken

12 Oct

Recently Seth Godin blogged about Roads Not Taken. He discusses how we are inclined to  keep track common mistakes we make such as, eating that forbidden bowl of ice cream, or failing to keep a promise you made. We ALL have been there.  But, why don’t we kick our selves in the butt about the risks we failed to take?  How many of us are pursing our dreams?  Are you doing what you love to do, or did you take the ‘less risky route’?

Perhaps you should think about the stock you didn’t buy, the innovation you didn’t pursue, the compliment you didn’t give?

Way more productive, I think, to push yourself to be more in the world, not to encourage yourself to hide.

The past few months I have been pursuing a road that I’ve never taken before, starting my business.  Years ago I realized I wanted to own a business, but I never pursued that desire.  I chose to keep doing what I was doing.  Thankfully, I have a husband that recognized my desire, potential and ability to do what it is I really wanted to do, and he backed me 100%  The idea of failure is scary, and intimidating, even writing this post was difficult.   The realization that dreams are wishes that seldom happen, and life does not hand yo your dreams you have to make them happen.  So each day I continue to walk down that road that I passed by many times before.  As Seth put it, “I’m pushing myself to be more in the world,” instead of hiding from it.

I’m on course to open an online ’boutique’ where I will sell home decor (throw pillows, shower curtains, etc), and a few other items made from textiles that I designed!!!!  I received the fabric samples yesterday, and I’m very, very happy with the way they came out.  Now I can take the next step which is getting samples products made.  There so many elements that I have to think of , but everything is starting to come together.  This road is exciting, scary, long, hard, fun, rewarding…. but I’m not looking back.

PS.

Need motivation to walk down a road you’ve never taken?  Here is one of my favorite poems, written by Robert Frost.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
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Meltdown Avoided

9 Oct

I almost had one today.  Thankfully, Mrs. Burch and Mr. Run came to my rescue.  For various reasons I was feeling frustrated, and out-of-sorts.  I’m not sure if it had anything to do with it raining for two days straight, good old hormones, or just plain craziness, but I wasn’t in a great place today….not horribly bad, but not great either.  Defense is the best offense, so I went shopping and then for a short run.  Thanks to 25% off at Tory Burch I brought the Amanda double snap wallet.  I saw it last month while searching for a new wallet.  Today I figured I couldn’t pass up the 25% off since the sale ends tomorrow.

Cheery Cherry Red!

When I returned home, I was still feeling somewhat antsy, so I went for short two miler.  It felt good to get outside after two days of rain . During my run I listened to the Millionaire Next Door (great book, if you haven’t read it).  I normally read books on my iPad, but I’m starting to jump on the  Audio Book craze that my husband is sooo hooked on. I hardly ever listen to the local radio station anymore, so the Audio Book app fills that void.

Thanks for listening to my rant, I feel much better now…have a great Sunday evening.

Natasha

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Are We Still Newlyweds?

5 Oct

What time frame constitutes being a newlywed? 1 year, 2 years, 1.5 years?   Dr. B and I have been married for 1 year and 5 months.  Are we till considered newlyweds…or is the honeymoon – over?  For whatever reason I’ve been thinking about how much longer we have before our Newlywed status runs out.  When it does, I will have to change the name of my blog.  Am I late already in that regard?  I’m not one to mislead readers, and hold faux claim to a title that I’m no longer eligible for.   When does one said couple transition from newlywed status to just being – married?

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