A four-year research study found that gratitude contributes to a mutual process of relationship maintenance, in which each partner’s maintenance behaviors, perceptions of responsiveness, and feelings of gratitude feed back on and influence the other partner’s behaviors, perceptions, and feelings. In other words when a spouse felt gratitude towards the other, and they expressed that gratitude in some external way, this outward expression produced and influenced the other spouse’s feelings and behaviors of gratitude. This process between the two spouses was like a continuous feedback loop because gratitude motivates partners to engage in relationship maintenance.
Feeling gratitude without expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
After reading this article, I started thinking about my relationship with my husband. I examined my acts of gratitude and relationship maintenance. I believe I am consistent and sincere when I express how much I appreciate him and everything he does for me. I am conscious of my behavior simply because my husband constantly shows me gratitude and I want to do the same to him. Actually he is good at showing everyone (who deserves it) gratitude. Anyone that knows him will attest to that. Based on this research, I’m sure that I conscientiously show him gratitude in many ways, because it is a natural response to his gratuitous behavior towards me.
So, the next time someone does something nice for you, don’t forget express your gratitude…it’s as easy as saying Thank You!
Ok, I have a little secret to tell. Bernard is helping me with my homework 🙂 Yes sir! One of the benefits of marrying a man with a PhD is that he can help me
with my PhD work! You see, I decided to change my program of study for my PhD. Instead of taking both courses and completing research, I decided to go the pure course route. The reason being, I finished my courses last June an started on my first (of three) research papers that leads up to my dissertation. Well, this paper that should have only taken 4 to 6 months was taking almost a year! I just couldn’t wrap my brain around the subject matter, even though it was a topic that I chose – the total economic impact of cloud-based computing on internet (yep, don’t say it, I know). So, when my school, Walden University, announced a new course-based program of study, I said sign me up, all his research paper writing is for the birds. Basically, the difference between the two programs is that in lieu of doing three independent(90 page) research papers, I now have to take 6 additional courses. Being that I wasn’t making any meaningful progress, and for fear reaching my life-long financial aid cap before I finished, I decided to make the switch to the course-based program.
So I just started one of my new courses on Monday, which is Research Seminar III- Data analysis for Applied management and decision sciences (um huh, one of those fun and exciting courses). It’s basically an advanced business statistics course. But, because my fiance husband is like a statistics genius, I have a bring it on attitude, because Dr. B is going to help me! Yep, I know I should be ashamed of my self, but I’m not. The bible says we all have gifts and that we should use them to help others. Well, Dr. B has the gift of statistics (I think it’s on the list….) and I believe, it is his christian husband duty to help me pass this hard a** course. That’s what I keep telling myself as he reads chapter and I type this blog post. Marriage does have it’s benefits.
Ever have your husband or wife “help” you with an assignment for school, work, etc? How did that work out? Readers the floor is yours.