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A House Divided… iPhone 4S VS Samsung Galaxy S II

7 Nov

I’m a the #AppleFanGirl4Life.   Apple can do no wrong in my book.  In the 4 years since I’ve switched from a pc to a Mac, I’ve never gotten a virus, and the only time my laptop has crashed was when I was in Barnes and Nobles, and I accidentally spilled hot green tea on it 😦  I’m the proud owner of the iPhone 4, iPad, and Macbook Air.  They are the air that I breath, and the wind beneath my wings.  So… imagine my horror, when Dr. B (a supposed Apple devotee) decided to switch to the Samsung Galaxy S when it was time to upgrade his phone.  My first thought was, “who is this man I married?…I don’t recognize him anymore.”  Mr. Steve Jobs, I apologize if my husband has offended you, he knows not what he does.

I ordered a white iPhone 4S on Sunday!!!!  I cannot wait to get my hands on this phone.  The first thing I’ll ask Siri is, “is this my husband, or has he been replaced with an Android powered alien?”  Only Siri can help me now.  I feel sorry for Dr. B, he actually likes his big ole phone Samsung.  Oh well,  just wait until he hears me and Siri chatting it up…someone’s gonna be jealous… 🙂

Who has the ‘better’ phone in your house?


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Are We Still Newlyweds?

5 Oct

What time frame constitutes being a newlywed? 1 year, 2 years, 1.5 years?   Dr. B and I have been married for 1 year and 5 months.  Are we till considered newlyweds…or is the honeymoon – over?  For whatever reason I’ve been thinking about how much longer we have before our Newlywed status runs out.  When it does, I will have to change the name of my blog.  Am I late already in that regard?  I’m not one to mislead readers, and hold faux claim to a title that I’m no longer eligible for.   When does one said couple transition from newlywed status to just being – married?

A Childfree Marriage is Still Complete Without Kids

12 Jan

Francesa at posted a great Q and A article with author Ellen L. Walker based on her new book “Complete without Kids“.  As you know having a childfree, as opposed to childless, marriage was a decision Dr. B and I made early on in our relationship. After we were married I was often confronted  with the dreaded question, “when are you having children?”  😦  I was even told that I our decision was weird.  So, it’s nice to see someone confronting this sensitive topic, and it was great to read the encouraging comments from Francesca’s readers.  I’m definitely going to buy this book which Amazon sells for only $10.17, for my childfree arsenal 🙂

Childless Marriage – Q and A with Complete without Kids Author Ellen L. Walker.


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Newlywed’s Christmas Shopping for Family and Friends

10 Nov

Image via Wikipedia

There are 45 more days until Christmas and I’m already feeling the pressure of buying Christmas Gifts.  Dr. B and I both come from large families, he has four brothers and I have three sisters and one brother, for a total of 8 siblings that we have to buy presents for.  Not to mention parents, nieces, nephews and cousins. 😦  This is our first Christmas as a married couple, and we want to give everyone something special, without breaking our budget.  Like most newlyweds, were working on building our nest egg, and our emergency savings.

Whatever we decide has to fit into our holiday budget that I setup.  Each week we put money into a savings account solely designated for buying Christmas presents.  I believe this is the only way we will be able to buy “a little something” for everyone on our lists.  And because we are traveling during the holidays (I blogged about that here) , the Xmas present budget is smaller than we would like it – but we figure, it’s better than nothing.

And, since we are traveling during the holidays, I’m contemplating not buying a Christmas tree.  Last year we brought a live tree.  This year I think it might be a waste of money since we won’t be here, and were not hosting either Thanksgiving or Christmas at our house…..So, the tree is probably out.  I’ll  see how Dr. B feels about it.

Oh, and one last thing…Dr. B’s Christmas gift.  I told him the other day that he didn’t have to buy me a gift.  As I mentioned above were going to be traveling a lot during the holidays, and that is gift enough for me.  But, knowing him..he will still buy me a little something.  So, I’m going to buy him a little something too 😉

Are you and your husband (or significant other) exchanging gifts this Christmas?  How do you going to handle buying gifts for your families?  I need a few suggestions for inexpensive gifts for our siblings, any ideas?

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Changing of the Guard: Managing our Marriage Finances

4 Nov

Today is the day I officially I begin my job as household Money Czar.  Up until today Dr. B has handled all of our finances, from the budgeting to the bill paying, but today I will take on all financial tasks, including saving and investing for our future.  From the beginning of our relationship Dr. B always said this is “our” money, and I was the one that could not conceptualize the idea since I did not work and bring home a paycheck every two weeks.

At the beginning of the year he even asked me to handle the finances and I balked at the idea. Granted, I always had a say in our money matters.  I just didn’t have, neither did I want to, physically be the one responsible.  Plus, I had the chauvinistic attitude that men handled money better than women (go figure).  Not to say I didn’t know where every single cent went, or that I didn’t have complete access to all of our account… Since then, we have gotten engaged, married, and “settled” into married life.  Over the the months my confidence in my money abilities have increased (as I have become quite the bargain shopper), so I asked Dr. B if the offer still stood, and he enthusiastically said “yes.”  So all this week I’ve been working our budget spreadsheets, organizing our bank accounts, pouring over monthly statements, and researching  various retirement strategies…and I love it!  The other day, Dr. B said he was actually excited, because he knew the I would do such a great job with our finances. 🙂  It is a great feeling to have a husband who totally trusts your judgment.  In addition I believe it has brought us closer as a couple, what can be more personal, intimate, and humbling than money?

My husband really, really, wants to buy an RV next year so that we can travel to all the University of Florida football games and we can, as he says “tailgate in style.”  I have a strong desire to make that dream a reality for him.  He doesn’t ask for much, but darn sure deserves it and much, much more.  I going to work overtime as the money czar to get him that RV.

Many people look at our marriage and wonder why a thirty-something, woman, with no kids, working on her PhD would want to be a stay-at-home wife.  I am a traditional, but far from old-fashioned.  My husband is the head of the household…but I control the purse strings 🙂

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Mrs. Thomas, Let it Go…

20 Oct
Clarence Thomas

Image via Wikipedia

According to a NY Times article, yesterday Clarence Thomas‘s wife, Virginia Thomas called Anita Hill and asked for an apology. Here is the message Virginia left for Anita:

“Good morning Anita Hill, it’s Ginni Thomas,” it said. “I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”

Ms. Thomas went on: “So give it some thought. And certainly pray about this and hope that one day you will help us understand why you did what you did. O.K., have a good day.”

WTH?  If your old enough, then you recall the scandal behind Clarence Thomas’s Supreme Court confirmation hearings.  If your not old enough here is a link to get you caught up.  I’m not going to go into a political rant about this story, but I have a few questions for Virginia:

1.  Why are you calling Anita at 7:30 am, and leaving voice mails on her job?  Why, praytell do you believe that to be appropriate behavior for the wife of a Supreme Court judge?

2.  This is personal, right?  I mean really, you have some unresolved marital issues that your trying to workout?

3. Did you ask Clarance?  Did you go to him first and ask, “what really happened, Clearance?”  That would seem the most obvious action.  Go to your husband… your life partner for answers…not the other woman.

4.  Why now Virginia?  Why now after almost 20 years, are you asking for an apology?  Isn’t 20 years enough to heal, why are you opening closed wounds.  What are you trying to do to your marriage, your husband’s career, your self esteem?

I’m just so confused by her actions, this was the center of my morning conversation with Dr. B.  We as a married couple cannot understand how one spouse would have the audacity to do something so…foolish.  What do you think, was going through Virginia’s head when she made that call?

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Mental Models and Newlyweds…Food for Thought

6 Oct
Illustration depicting thought.
Image via Wikipedia

I’m 5 weeks into my current course, Managing Organizational Systems and Complexity, which I have mixed reviews about depending on the day of the week. There have been readings and assignments that I absolutely love, and others that I could care less about. One of the readings that I really enjoyed and applied was in week two, when we had to read chapter 9 titled Mental Models the book  The Fifth Discipline, by Peter Senge.

Senge defines mental models as, “the deeply ingrained assumptions, generalizations, and even pictures or images that influence how we understand the world. Since how we act is based on our impressions of our surrounding environment, it’s imperative that we recognize and re-evaluate our mental models and preconceived assumptions.”  Simply put a mental model is explanation of someone’s thought process about how something works in the real world.  Our mental models help shape our behavior and define our approach to solving problems and carrying out tasks.

For example, at work you might think, “My boss believes I’m incapable of managing this project.”  Yet you never ask my boss directly about it.  You would simply go out of your way to try continually to make yourself look capable to your boss.  Another example is,  “My boss is impatient and believes in quick and dirty solutions,” so you go out of my way to give him simple solutions even though you don’t think they really get to the heart of difficult solutions.

I got to thinking about the mental model that I have of Dr. B, and the ones that he might have of me.  Do I think that he doesn’t care because he always has a black and white solution to a problem,  or does he think that I’m hotheaded and temperamental because I display passion when discussing a topic that is dear to me?  So, if we are carrying around the mental models of each other how are they affecting our behavior towards each other?

As newlyweds it is important to distinguish between direct observations, and generalizations taken from our observations of our spouses.  There are ways you can approach a conversation with your spouse about your mental models; such as owning up to your own assumptions about your spouse, and citing your observations upon which they are based.  This in turn will help reduce the chances of a defensive reaction from your spouse.

What mental models do you think you have of your spouse, and what mental model do you think they have of you?

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