Women’s Top 5 Needs in a Relationship

14 Jan

A few months before we were married, Dr. B and I read a book together called His Needs Her Needs. Have you read it, you really should, it’s quite good. In this book the author, Willard Harley Jr.,  discusses the top 5 needs of men and women when they are in a relationship. I have to be honest until I read the book, my list would have been different.  But after reading it, I saw how issues can arise if those needs aren’t met.  Now that I’m married I definitely can see that I need these five needs met by Dr. B.  (BTW honey your doing a great job!)

Let me know what you think. Do you have the same needs that are on the list, are they different?

#5 For her man to be a good father

#4 Financial Security

#3 Transparency, openness and honesty in her man

#2 Conversation

#1 Affection

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8 Responses to “Women’s Top 5 Needs in a Relationship”

  1. Bernard January 14, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    You do a great job at meeting my top five needs too baby! Thank you for loving me the way you do.

  2. Cindy January 14, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Number 5 – Even though I don’t want children, I would still want whomever I married to have the characteristics of a good father because you never know what life is going to bring you.

    Number 4 – Ab. So, Lutely. I’m not saying I’m a gold digger but one of the first questions I asked Matt the night I met him and saw him drive up in a BMW was, “Do you rent or own your house?” I was tired of playing with boys who had this and that but none of what really mattered. I was pleased when he told me he owned. 🙂

    Number 3 – Transparency, not always because I do like surprises, but honesty, yes. I want to know everything about my husband and I want him to feel like he can tell me anything, anytime.

    Number 2 – If you are going to spend your life with someone, you need to be able to talk. Casual conversation is a great way to learn the other person’s communication style so when you have important things to discuss, you can discuss them easier. Everyday, I ask Matt, “How was your day?” And I listen to what he has to say. It’s a great exercise for me in keeping my mouth shut and learning how to listen as well.

    Number 1 – Can’t stress this enough. A hand on my thigh while we are driving in the car. A snuggle at night every now and then. Even just a sweet, loving look is enough to let me know I’m needed.

    • Natasha Williams January 14, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

      Thanks for sharing Cindy. I too feel you on #5. Even though I don’t want children, I would never marry a man that didn’t like kids, or had the potential to be a “bad father.” Also, I paid close attention to hew Dr. B interacted with his daughter. He never goes back on his promises, he’s involved in her life (outside of his regular visitation), and he has helped me and her develop a friendship. A friend of my sister has been dating a guy for about a year, and she has yet to meet his child 😦 Not a good sign if you ask me.

  3. NancyB January 14, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

    Where was this book 18 years ago? When you’re young and madly in love, your partner can do no wrong but I wish I could visit my younger self and say “hey, you need to be a grown up about this”. I think this Tip 5 is dead on.

    • Natasha Williams January 14, 2011 at 6:25 pm #

      Amen! This list would have saved me a few heartaches back in my single days 🙂

    • Newlyweds Guide Francesca January 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

      I couldn’t agree more. We need this info more as we’re dating and learning how to navigate relationships in our younger years. I think the list is right. But I hope that the affection need covers love, too. Yes, I want hugs and kisses, but I also want my husband’s love. I need to hear the words and know that he means it, too.


  1. His Needs: The Top Five « Natasha the Newlywed - January 28, 2011

    […] weeks ago I blogged about Women’s Top 5 Needs in a Relationship according to Willard Harley’s book, His Needs Her Needs. This week it’s the men’s […]

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